i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
you made out with another girl for some wings
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
