Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
