I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
