You just made me feel so damn special
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
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