So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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