He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
