Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
