You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
