i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
