THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
