so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
ttyl tear gas
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
