Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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