Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
