I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Randomize
