They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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