I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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