Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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