vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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