There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
the day after is always just damage control
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
