Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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