So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
