You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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