The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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