She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
