This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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