why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
i now understand why vodka
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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