Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
