It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
