If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
