what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
we're chasing vodka with high fives
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
