Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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