This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
