the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
