even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
