What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
pray to the hookup gods
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
