dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
