I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
