i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
