i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
