There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
