I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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