I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
