I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
