I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
