Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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