I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
