Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
