I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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