i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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