Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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